…And Eric Cartman as Sarasti.

Calling out for some suggestions here.

I seem to be juggling a small spate of interviews/online discussions at the moment, one of which is a long-overdue contribution to something called “My Book, the Movie“. This is an ongoing blog in which various authors dream a bit about who they’d like to see direct/star in/roach-wrangle movie adaptations of their novels. The closest I ever got to a serious movie adaptation was via some guy working for South Park, who wanted an option for Starfish without paying any money up front. Oh, and someone else who respected my dedication to scientific credibility so much that she’d lined up the writer of Wing Commander for the screenplay. Bullets were dodged, travesties avoided, and here I am years later still subsisting on a hand-to-mouth diet of rice and barnacles.

Anyway. Back then I thought that Carrie-Ann Moss would make a kick-ass Lenie Clarke, but she’s since aged out of the twentysomething demographic. I thought Ridley Scott might be a decent director, and Cameron certainly had the underwater/female hero thing down pat, but those are both pretty obvious choices. I’ve put this thing off long enough; I’ve got to come up with names I’d like to see representing my work on both sides of the camera, but I’m not experiencing any aha moments.

So, what do you people think? Any ideas?

This entry was posted on Thursday, November 20th, 2008 at 9:04 am and is filed under interviews, misc, writing news. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. Both comments and pings are currently closed.

28 Responses to “…And Eric Cartman as Sarasti.”

  1. Madeline

    No way. Sarasti is Djimon Honshu. Carrie-Anne Moss would make a good Susan (a resurrection of her character flips in “Memento”).

    Lenie requires a former child actress — someone you can’t help but see as a child when you look at her. Jena Malone would work.

    Some people hated “Sunshine,” but the name that leapt out to me immediately was Danny Boyle.

  2. Fraxas

    Crispin Glover as Jukka Sarasti.
    John Cusack as Siri Keeton.

  3. Ben H

    Surely the obvious choice for Lenie Clarke is Katee Sackhoff. She can do vulnerable, she can do strong, and most of all she has those broad swimmer’s shoulders.

  4. Meghan

    Alfonso Cuaron to direct.

  5. Anonymous

    I think Michael Jackson might be a good choice for directing the movie… any movie… any time… 🙂

  6. chesh

    I thought of a few directors while reading this on my phone at lunch, but have completely spaced them. Curses.
    David Fincher is the one who sticks out in my mind though.
    I also think Haujobb would do a great soundtrack, especially to Starfish or Blindsight. Though either of those may be even better if they were nearly silent.

  7. D. R. Smith

    How about directors Vincenzo Natali (Cube, Cypher, Nothing) or Brad Anderson (Session 9, The Machinist, Transsiberian). They aren’t big names, but I think they could work for Starfish.

  8. Samantha Martin

    Blindsight: Shoot the entire film in first-person, and have the audience pretend they’re Siri Keeton.

  9. constihill

    Guillermo del Toro as the director for Blindsight.

    Ellen Page as Lenie, if Starfish.

  10. Alehkhs

    Ha, my housemate will be relieved that I have an outlet for this, so I can stop pestering him day-to-day about Starfish. Although to be fair, I DO have a different set of actors each day – here is who’s on the the list today (asterisks next to regulars).

    For director, obviously someone who can do both amazing setting and character. Of course, this usually leads to the three already mentioned choices of Scott, Cameron and Boyle. As far as cinematography and on-site work goes, Cameron is awesome for underwater shots, but I would love to see camera work by Tarsem Singh (The Fall). Also, Ronald D. Moore (Battlestar Galactica) seems like a good candidate for character development as well as a dark setting.

    The major problem that will be posed by Starfish is the settings, namely all the underwater scenes. I suspect Cameron would sway away from such a project after his experiences with The Abyss, although his insight and a hand in the project would be very helpful. The audience needs to feel the stress, both choking environmental pressure, as well as tension among the characters. Technically a good amount of CG would probably be used, but nothing beats natural human movement.

    On to actors:

    Lenie Clarke (“Her breasts are small, almost adolescent, bumps. No hips. Her body’s as pale as her face, except for the bruises and the fresh pink seams that access the implants. She looks anorexic.” Blond, small frame, small breasts, could get a pedophile hot and bothered):
    -Katie Sackhoff* (although she might seem a bit to confident/powerful in the early scenes)
    -Hmm… I see Ellen Page working as well…

    Mike Brander (tougher, built, “history of attempted suicide”):
    -Sam Witwer

    Ken Lubin (“Slavic; dark hair, pale skin, a face planed out by an underskilled woodworker. One thick eyebrow shading both eyes. Not tall— a hundred and eighty centimeters, maybe— but solid”):
    -Tahmoh Penikett*

    Joel Kita:
    -Karl Urban

    Jeanette Ballard (a more mature, more confident build of Lenie, natural smiles that will grate on the audience ever so slightly):
    -Sarah Wynter

    Gerry Fischer:
    -Nathan Fillion (somehow I think he could pull this one off)

    Alice Nakata (“jumpy as a cat…Asian eyes flicker, open wide and dark…She’s never seen Nakata smile before. It would have been nice if it could have lasted”):
    -Michelle Yeoh (peaceful, although a bit older)

    Judy Caraco:
    -Kandyse McClure

    Karl Acton (charismatic. A friendly asshole – can snap in an instant, like a dog from the kennel):
    -Callum Keith Rennie (plus we already know it would work off/on with Katee)

    Yves Scanlon (“Dumpy little turd”):
    -Matthew Bennett

    Patricia Rowan (“At the edges of her mouth and around her mercurial eyes, faint lines and a slight droop to the right eyelid; otherwise the face was a pale and featureless sketch, a CaucAsian wash. Her dark hair grayed at the temples, a discoloration that seemed to spread infinitesimally as he watched”):
    -Sigourney Weaver*
    -Michelle Forbes

  11. David Nickle

    David Cronenberg to direct. And (please don’t hit me until you’ve thought it through) Wil Wheaton as Siri Keeton.

    Now bow before my brilliance.

  12. Anonymous

    After No Country for Old Men, I have no doubt in my mind that the Coen Brothers could do Blindsight: The Movie Movie some serious justice.

    It’s a pity Cillian Murphy is so pretty (albeit creepily so); he’d make a fantastic Sarasti otherwise.

    I’d also like to put in another vote for a slightly uglified Jackie Warner (of Bravo’s Work Out)- post-acting school of course – as Amanda Bates.

    anonypost by razorsmile

  13. Sunday

    Randomly, I was just standing next to Jena Malone (I live in L.A., these things happen) and she is teeeeny tiny. Like a little hummingbird of a girl. And while Lenie should be appear physically adolescent, she isn’t – she’s an adult. She has to be played by someone who can show how broken they are on their face. First person that jumps to mind for me is Radha Mitchell on a cruel diet.

  14. Anonymous

    I’m glad someone already said David Fincher to direct. He’s probably perverse enough to handle Starfish.

    And, as someone who knows someone, who knows someone, who sneezed on Ellen Page once (or something like that) I think she would be an excelent Lenie but you wouldn’t know it if you hadn’t seen Hard Candy.

  15. Nicholas

    The Rifters trilogy would be difficult to adapt to film if any consistency was to be maintained…while the second two books are (at least in my mind) intensely cinematic, Starfish would be extremely difficult to adapt correctly–it was the claustrophobic environment that made it a great read for me, and I fear that would be undone by any cinematographers…except maybe if Cronenberg were to direct, but he would produce difficult elsewhere I think

  16. Anonymous

    For Blindsight: Shinya Tsukamoto! (remember Tetsuo? Of course, it’s something you can’t forget)

  17. Freyr

    I say Gaspard Ulliel for Sarasti, he’s already got the creepy cannibal thing down. Plus I always imagined him with an accent.
    Oh, and Michael C. Hall for Desjardins. Though he’s got enough of the awkwardness where he might make a decent Siri Keeton, as well.
    I’d say Summer Glau as Lenie, certainly she’s got the young, frail-looking but strong thing going on, though I’m not sure she has enough range as an actor to pull off the complexity of Lenie’s character. So I’d have to go with everyone else and say Ellen Page.

  18. Anonymous

    I was on a flight from Toronto to Hong Kong and had seen all the movies that were of interest to me on the seat-back system and was still bored. I had no desire to to see a movie about a pregnant teen but watched it anyways. I was very pleasantly surprised, especially by Ellen Page. I think she could definitely do Lennie.

    And for the dead whale, I propose the body of Marlon Brando.

  19. Madeline

    I second Ellen Page, now that I think of it. I think she’d be far better at delivering a nuanced performance.

    For some reason, I see Wheaton playing Siri’s childhood friend. Which means Scalzi should play Siri. And the set would have to stock up on Double Doubles. (The other kind.)

  20. David B. Ellis

    Danny Boyle to direct.

    For Siri I’m thinking Robert Downey, Jr. Don’t know if he could tone down his personality enough though. Or possibly Cillian Murphy.

    Haven’t made up my mind about Lenie, I love Ellen Page but I don’t see her as right for this character. Sheer lecherousness brings Jolene Blalock, the actress who played T’Pol on ENTERPRISE to mind. And Summer Glau.

  21. David B. Ellis

    Or, better yet, Kiera Knighley. Has the sort of very slender build that’s closer to the book’s description. I think she would be great. Plays tough well when she need to (ever seen DOMINO).

  22. David B. Ellis

    Another possibility for Siri—Jeremy Davies (from the 2002 version of Solaris).

  23. Nathaniel

    Tilda Swinton as Lenie.

  24. emrex

    Alex Proyas (the crow, dark city, i, robot) to direct Blindsight.

    and with Megan Fox as Lenie Mr Watts would be a household name. I’m just saying…

  25. Bob

    Crispin Glover as Fischer.
    Tom Wilkinson as Brander.
    Guy Pearce as Acton.
    Goran Visnjic as Lubin.
    Oliver Platt as Doctor in quarntine.
    Todd Solondz to Direct.

  26. Seth

    This will no doubt broker some controversy but here are a few of my picks.

    Sarasti – Nicholas Cage, with some kind of freaky primeval mullet.

    Siri Keeton – Matt Damon, hands down it’s gotta be Matt Damon

    Amanda Bates – Jamie Bamber in drag. I know, a lot of BSG cast members have been mentioned but this is by far the best fit.

    Lenie – Liv Tyler, but with Paris Hilton doing voice overs

    Actual picks include

    Sarasti – Hugo Weaving
    Siri – an unknown actor
    Susan – Jorja Fox
    Bates – Polly Walker

    Lenie – an unknown actor
    Ken Lubin – Matthew Settle
    Dejardins – Hugh Dancy

  27. Zak

    I second Guillermo del Toro for Blindsight. His drive to stay true to the vision of the creator, coupled with (one would hope) working within the confines of science fiction (rather than fantasy) would be something beautiful.

  28. David B. Ellis

    Hugo Weaving as Sarasti? I never would have thought of that but I like it.

    And this will be mocked by many but I think Keanu Reeves has done some good work in science fiction. I’d like to see him as Siri.