Very Funny.
Okay, which one of you jokers is responsible for the following promotional offer appearing in my in-box?
Subject: Promote Your Christian Book
Christian Book Marketing is a division of Awesome God Publications. Awesome God Publications has been actively serving the Christian community since 1998. Through our years of experience in dealing with Christian books and publishers we have determined a need for Christian authors to market their books differently than traditional authors. We are able to market your book directly to a Christian audience who has proven that they have an interest in Christian books. Another advantage is that we are able to provide complete product handling – from warehousing your book to shipping and invoicing!
Our years of experience and excellent relationships with our contacts makes Christian Book Marketing a natural choice to promote your Christian book to as many Christian readers as possible!
Christian Book Marketing
“Reaching One More for Him”Christian Book Promotion Packages
starting at $499.00!
There’s more, but you get the idea. Judging from the asking price, though, these guys skipped over that part of the gospels with the bit about camel’s eyes and needles. It seems an exorbitant price, especially given a marketing slogan that only promises to reach one measly person.
bec, was this you?
I can see it: “Blindfaith” . . .
Bec_87rb exclaims:
Not I! Someone must have leaked the Jasmine Fitzgerald short story to them.
Not me. (Where’s my outline?)
I’d like to see them evaluate the book, in an effort to determine how they’d market it. Video of their heads exploding would be a bonus….
Not sure where you get the “exhorbitant” and “one person” comments.
There does seem to be a slight reference problem with “audience who has”– I’d say “who have” or “that has”, depending upon whether I wanted to deal with the word “audience” as a group noun (made up of individuals) or an aggregate noun (one big thing).
Not sure why you think $499 is exhorbitant– check various promo packages on other websites, for instance MJ Rose’s.
I think you should publish your next book this way, Pete. I mean, hell, those wily Christians would at least give you a choice of book covers, right? Heh! Sounds better than Tor.
For $499, however, those cross-bearing do-gooders had better deliver you not only proof of God’s existence in the form of a handshake, but also heavenly redemption rife with cute women, swishy waterfalls, and a full-time open bar.
I just can’t get over their name. I mean, “Awesome God Publications”. That’s just priceless.
Its from a song very popular with evangelicals: OUR GOD IS AN AWESOME GOD.
It’s less funny than nauseating when a relative manages to drag you to their church and you’re in the midst of a couple hundred people with their hands held up (when did this become the default expression of religious ecstasy—I don’t recall ever seeing it when I was a kid) and singing it while in the apparent grips of an endorphin high (or is it some other brain chemical associated with religious experiences—I dont recall).
We are able to market your book directly to a Christian audience who has proven that they have an interest in Christian books.
If they can do it, count me impressed.
Humble Christians say: Our God is a less awesome God.
**OMG**, you fuckers are exhausting. thanks though, i think drowning in your smarmy intellectual contempt can make me finally sing along to “our God is an awesome God” in church and not care what a corny song it is.
*points up* my name’s erin by the way. from kitimat. my mom’s posted a couple times, we’re both huge fans of your writing. got ourselves starfish tattoos.