{"id":93,"date":"2008-01-24T22:01:00","date_gmt":"2008-01-25T06:01:00","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.rifters.com\/crawl\/?p=93"},"modified":"2008-01-24T22:01:00","modified_gmt":"2008-01-25T06:01:00","slug":"theyre-really-more-guidelines-than-actual-rules-%e2%80%94-or-the-none-that-got-away","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.rifters.com\/crawl\/?p=93","title":{"rendered":""They’re Really More Guidelines than Actual Rules" \u2014 or, The None That Got Away."},"content":{"rendered":"

I know I haven’t mentioned it lately, but the world is still turning to shit. The Bush administration recently gave<\/a> the US Navy the go-ahead<\/a> to kill as many whales as they want to in their hunt for tewwowists in diesel-powered submarines, and screw the California Supreme Court. It’s finally been officially admitted<\/a> that nobody’s gonna do shit about protecting jaguars in the US, whether the Endangered Species Act says they have to or not. The International Underwater Spearfishing Association has been forced to reset the clock on their “world records”<\/a>, basically because you can’t beat a record after you’ve exterminated all the fish in that size class. Back in ancient history, the Bali Conference ended<\/a> with everyone proclaiming the need to finally get serious about climate change, while committing themselves to absolutely nothing\u2014 and the same assholes who insisted there was no such thing only a decade ago are once again proclaiming themselves the voices of reason and urging us to adapt<\/i><\/a>, because it’s really too late to change things now. (I’ve been contemplating a post which advocates waiting until “all the science is in” and then hunting down the Bushes and the Howards and Harpers of the world, and killing them \u2014 you know, because those guys are big on both “accountability” and<\/span> capital punishment \u2014 but I haven’t yet figured out the whole “actionable” angle. Maybe next week.)<\/p>\n

Up here in my little corner of the world, however, things are a teeny bit brighter on the environment front because the landlord just installed low-flow toilets throughout the building. This would make me happier if the toilet’s design hadn’t compensated for reduced flow<\/i> by increasing pressure<\/i>. Now, every time I flush the damn thing it’s like an F-16 is launching on full afterburners under my ass. Put that together with the fact that the new design virtually assures that the end of my dick is underwater even prior to take-off and, well, I can only say it’s just as well I’ve already been circumcised.<\/p>\n

Kermit was right. It’s not easy being green.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

I know I haven’t mentioned it lately, but the world is still turning to shit. The Bush administration recently gave the US Navy the go-ahead to kill as many whales as they want to in their hunt for tewwowists in diesel-powered submarines, and screw the California Supreme Court. It’s finally been officially admitted that nobody’s […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[12,16],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-93","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-in-praise-of-biocide","category-rant"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.rifters.com\/crawl\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/93","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.rifters.com\/crawl\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.rifters.com\/crawl\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.rifters.com\/crawl\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.rifters.com\/crawl\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=93"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/www.rifters.com\/crawl\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/93\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.rifters.com\/crawl\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=93"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.rifters.com\/crawl\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=93"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.rifters.com\/crawl\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=93"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}