{"id":2238,"date":"2011-08-28T07:50:13","date_gmt":"2011-08-28T15:50:13","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.rifters.com\/crawl\/?p=2238"},"modified":"2011-08-28T18:34:02","modified_gmt":"2011-08-29T02:34:02","slug":"he-saidshe-said","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.rifters.com\/crawl\/?p=2238","title":{"rendered":"He Said\/She Said"},"content":{"rendered":"

What I said:<\/strong><\/p>\n

We come here today in defiance of biological reality.<\/p>\n

We know that mammals are not monogamous (except for a few
\nspecies of meadow vole with abnormally high levels of endogenous
\noxytocin). We know that monogamy is not the normal human state,
\nthe self-serving claims of various religious institutions notwithstanding.
\nWomen are inclined to trade up at the drop of a hat, and
\nmen tend to indiscriminately fuck anything that moves. And we
\nknow the odds when spoken vows go up against genetic imperatives
\nwith 200 million years of natural selection behind them. We are
\nnot idiots.<\/p>\n

However.<\/p>\n

In the short time we have been together, we have faced down the
\nparanoid brutality of the US justice system; survived a sickness
\nthat came within hours of ending the relationship, not to mention
\nmy life; and withstood cancer scares both feline and Unicornian.
\nThese travails would have wrecked the foundations of most of my
\nprevious entanglements; they didn’t even rattle the windowpanes
\nof this one. Also, at the age of fifty three, I am having better and
\nmore frequent sex than I’ve ever had before in my life (including a
\ndecade of grad school).<\/p>\n

If any couple has a shot at beating the odds, it is us. I have never
\nfelt so comfortable and so safe just being myself in the company of
\nanother human being. I have never felt so consistently challenged,
\nloved, and understood. And, if this does only last as long as the
\ntypical failed marriage, at this point I’m so old that it’ll probably
\ntake us to ’til death do us part anyway.<\/p>\n

Caitlin, I have never made this commitment to anyone before. In
\nall honesty I never thought I would be able to. It took half a century
\nto prove me wrong.<\/p>\n

And you and I are going to kick biological determinism in the balls.<\/p><\/blockquote>\n

Go here for What She Said.<\/strong><\/a><\/p>\n

Oddly, the Officiant seemed quite disapproving of the whole thing.\u00a0 She muttered something about e.e. cummings and ran off to the bathroom.\u00a0 We never saw her again.<\/p>\n

So there you go.\u00a0 This actually happened over a week ago, but we didn’t tell anybody until yesterday when when we had vast numbers of three different species in our back yard (people in the evening; raccoons overnight; wasps this morning) with whom to share the news.\u00a0 So now it’s out there.<\/p>\n

Caitlin assures me that hot groupies will henceforth find me even more irresistible, on account of being unavailable.<\/p>\n

\"\"<\/a>
\n<\/strong><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

What I said: We come here today in defiance of biological reality. We know that mammals are not monogamous (except for a few species of meadow vole with abnormally high levels of endogenous oxytocin). We know that monogamy is not the normal human state, the self-serving claims of various religious institutions notwithstanding. Women are inclined […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[18],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-2238","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-misc"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.rifters.com\/crawl\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/2238","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.rifters.com\/crawl\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.rifters.com\/crawl\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.rifters.com\/crawl\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.rifters.com\/crawl\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=2238"}],"version-history":[{"count":12,"href":"https:\/\/www.rifters.com\/crawl\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/2238\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":2251,"href":"https:\/\/www.rifters.com\/crawl\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/2238\/revisions\/2251"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.rifters.com\/crawl\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=2238"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.rifters.com\/crawl\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=2238"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.rifters.com\/crawl\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=2238"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}