{"id":1515,"date":"2010-07-21T18:28:14","date_gmt":"2010-07-22T02:28:14","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.rifters.com\/crawl\/?p=1515"},"modified":"2010-07-21T18:28:14","modified_gmt":"2010-07-22T02:28:14","slug":"smokin-in-the-girls-room","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.rifters.com\/crawl\/?p=1515","title":{"rendered":"Smokin’ in the Girl’s Room"},"content":{"rendered":"

This whole writing retreat thing is stranger than I remember it. This is the approach to my bedroom. \u00a0My bedroom door is the pale green thing with the poster taped across it:
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For those of you with teensy monitors, here’s a closeup of the sign outside said approach:<\/p>\n

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Yes, you read that right. \u00a0My bedroom is inside the Gibraltar Point Women’s washroom.<\/p>\n

Lest you think (quite reasonably) that I’m bullshitting you with a nondescript picture of a nondescript door, here is a picture looking back out through the women’s washroom from inside my bedroom:<\/p>\n

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It gets weirder. \u00a0The bank of industrial flourescent lights on the ceiling over my bed is hooked into the washroom circuit, and at least one female artist in this establishment has a weak bladder. \u00a0At 2a.m. this past morning, all the lights in my room went on without warning. \u00a0(Actually, there may have been warning, but being sound asleep prior to that point I could have \u00a0missed it.)<\/p>\n

The local women artists also seem to be early risers. \u00a0Starting at 5:30 this morning, my lights started \u00a0turning on and off at 15-minute intervals, just enough time to let me drift back to sleep before reawakened by broad-spectrum white light and the sound of fecal pellets dropping into toilet bowls. \u00a0 By 6:45 I’d discovered that the switch in my<\/em> room also controlled the lights in the women’s washroom. \u00a0I had about 15 minutes to savor the experience of waiting until these thoughtless XXs were firmly planted over their toilets and killing their <\/em>lights before I had to head off on the morning run.<\/p>\n

I can only assume that one of the people currenting residing at the GP Arts Center is working on a postgraduate degree in psychology.<\/p>\n

\u2014\u2014\u2014\u2014<\/p>\n

Title credit Dave “I Made Up The 900 Years Thing” Nickle<\/span><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

This whole writing retreat thing is stranger than I remember it. This is the approach to my bedroom. \u00a0My bedroom door is the pale green thing with the poster taped across it: For those of you with teensy monitors, here’s a closeup of the sign outside said approach: Yes, you read that right. \u00a0My bedroom […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[18,35],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-1515","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-misc","category-on-the-road"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.rifters.com\/crawl\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1515","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.rifters.com\/crawl\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.rifters.com\/crawl\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.rifters.com\/crawl\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.rifters.com\/crawl\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=1515"}],"version-history":[{"count":4,"href":"https:\/\/www.rifters.com\/crawl\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1515\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":1524,"href":"https:\/\/www.rifters.com\/crawl\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1515\/revisions\/1524"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.rifters.com\/crawl\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=1515"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.rifters.com\/crawl\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=1515"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.rifters.com\/crawl\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=1515"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}