{"id":125,"date":"2008-04-10T07:42:00","date_gmt":"2008-04-10T15:42:00","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.rifters.com\/crawl\/?p=125"},"modified":"2008-04-10T07:42:00","modified_gmt":"2008-04-10T15:42:00","slug":"i-am-a-sad-pathetic-man","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.rifters.com\/crawl\/?p=125","title":{"rendered":"I am a Sad Pathetic Man"},"content":{"rendered":"<p><a onblur=\"try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}\" href=\"http:\/\/rifters.com\/real\/uploaded_images\/sackhoff-785254.jpg\"><img decoding=\"async\" style=\"margin: 0pt 0pt 10px 10px; float: right; cursor: pointer;\" src=\"http:\/\/rifters.com\/real\/uploaded_images\/sackhoff-785232.jpg\" alt=\"\" border=\"0\" \/><\/a>I dreamed last night that I kept hitting on Katee Sackhoff, and she kept turning me down.  That&#8217;s right:  Starbuck, the antiMikey of sexual cereals, wouldn&#8217;t even give me the time of day in my <i>dreams<\/i>.<\/p>\n<p>But I&#8217;m not going to go with the obvious subtext here, because I am desperate to give my imagination credit for more subtlety.  What it&#8217;s really telling me to do, I think, is to start collecting Return-of-Starbuck theories, and to do it soon before IO9 ruins all the speculation with one of their spoiler strafing runs.<\/p>\n<p>So.  Starbuck theories.  Place them here.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>I dreamed last night that I kept hitting on Katee Sackhoff, and she kept turning me down. That&#8217;s right: Starbuck, the antiMikey of sexual cereals, wouldn&#8217;t even give me the time of day in my dreams. But I&#8217;m not going to go with the obvious subtext here, because I am desperate to give my imagination [&hellip;]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[13],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-125","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-ink-on-art"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.rifters.com\/crawl\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/125","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.rifters.com\/crawl\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.rifters.com\/crawl\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.rifters.com\/crawl\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.rifters.com\/crawl\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=125"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/www.rifters.com\/crawl\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/125\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.rifters.com\/crawl\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=125"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.rifters.com\/crawl\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=125"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.rifters.com\/crawl\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=125"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}