"They’re Really More Guidelines than Actual Rules" — or, The None That Got Away.

I know I haven’t mentioned it lately, but the world is still turning to shit. The Bush administration recently gave the US Navy the go-ahead to kill as many whales as they want to in their hunt for tewwowists in diesel-powered submarines, and screw the California Supreme Court. It’s finally been officially admitted that nobody’s gonna do shit about protecting jaguars in the US, whether the Endangered Species Act says they have to or not. The International Underwater Spearfishing Association has been forced to reset the clock on their “world records”, basically because you can’t beat a record after you’ve exterminated all the fish in that size class. Back in ancient history, the Bali Conference ended with everyone proclaiming the need to finally get serious about climate change, while committing themselves to absolutely nothing— and the same assholes who insisted there was no such thing only a decade ago are once again proclaiming themselves the voices of reason and urging us to adapt, because it’s really too late to change things now. (I’ve been contemplating a post which advocates waiting until “all the science is in” and then hunting down the Bushes and the Howards and Harpers of the world, and killing them — you know, because those guys are big on both “accountability” and capital punishment — but I haven’t yet figured out the whole “actionable” angle. Maybe next week.)

Up here in my little corner of the world, however, things are a teeny bit brighter on the environment front because the landlord just installed low-flow toilets throughout the building. This would make me happier if the toilet’s design hadn’t compensated for reduced flow by increasing pressure. Now, every time I flush the damn thing it’s like an F-16 is launching on full afterburners under my ass. Put that together with the fact that the new design virtually assures that the end of my dick is underwater even prior to take-off and, well, I can only say it’s just as well I’ve already been circumcised.

Kermit was right. It’s not easy being green.

This entry was written by Peter Watts , posted on Thursday January 24 2008at 10:01 pm , filed under In praise of biocide, rant . Bookmark the permalink . Post a comment below or leave a trackback: Trackback URL.

5 Responses to “"They’re Really More Guidelines than Actual Rules" — or, The None That Got Away.”

  1. “They’re Really More Guidelines than Actual Rules” (Bill Murray in Ghostbusters, 1984)

    Being a stickler for science, and a writer on top of it, I am shocked that you would use this quote without giving it the proper credit.

    I am even more shocked that I would remember crap like this.

  2. Ghostbusters!? I was quoting “Pirates of the Caribbean”. And I didn’t credit it for the same reason that no one credits “an eye for an eye” (Everyone knows a Gandhi quote when they see one…)

  3. “I make it a rule never to sleep with possessed people. Well, its more of a guideleine than an actual rule.” (Bill Murray to Sigourney Weaver: Ghostbusters, 1984).

    Maybe its time for me to move out of my mother’s basement and date a girl.

  4. Dude, why the hell are you still sitting on the throne when you’re flushing??? :::grin:::

  5. Something has to cover that opening during the decompression phase. Otherwise the pressure drop would rupture every eardrum on the fourth floor…